There are four styles of child-rearing: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved.
Child-rearing styles are how you as the parent are reacting to certain situations in your child’s life. And in turn, your reactions are affecting your child’s temperament.
The best child-rearing style is authoritative because that means you are a warm, responsive, attentive, patient and sensitive parent to all your child’s needs. This helps your child make independent choices, share their thoughts, emotions and preferences to you and participate in open communication. It’s your responsibility as a parent to adapt to your child’s development. As a parent, it is important to be reasonable in your demands and make sure they match your child’s maturity.
Authoritarian child-rearing is when you add excessive demands and force punishment on your child. This often leads to an anxious, unhappy child with low self-esteem and self-reliance. With continued use of this type of parenting style, you might see your son become angry and defiant. And, your daughter might act-out and have a lack of interest in new activities and feel overwhelmed by difficult tasks (Hart et al., 2003).
You ask your child to wash the dishes after dinner. But when you ask, your child gives you attitude. A little something like this,
Parent: DO the dishes now!
Child: Why do I have to do the dishes?
Parent: Do it because I said so!
Child: But, I’m not feeling well, and I still have homework to do.
You ignore your child’s attempt to express their thoughts and feelings. Frustrated, you now command your child to wash the dishes, take the garbage out and fold the laundry before starting their homework. And, you tell them no TV before bed time.
So, I urge you to take the time to show extra warmth yet firm control with your child. And, say encouraging words to them throughout the day. Boost your child’s self-esteem, promote independent learning, and gradually, you will see a positive change in your child’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors (Cipriano & Stifter, 2010).
Permissive child-rearing is when you are warm and accepting but uninvolved. Parents who use this style tend to be overindulgent or inattentive and show little to no behavioral control. Your child is free to make decisions on their own with no parental guidance. Pretty much, your child has no regards for learning rules, practicing good manners or pitching in on household chores. For example, your child can eat meals at any time without your consent, they don’t have a set bed-time to follow and there’s no restriction on the amount of TV they can watch. Children of permissive parents typically are impulsive, disobedient and rebellious (Barber & Olsen, 1997). This can lead to poor academic achievement, defiance and antisocial behavior.
The uninvolved child-rearing style includes parents who have little to no involvement or acceptance in their child’s life. They generally are detached and depressed. And, in some cases, they are neglectful. Usually, children who have uninvolved parents have low academic performance, depression, anger and antisocial behavior (Aunola, Stattin, & Nurmi, 2000).